Context: I began writing this on Monday, March 30, 2020. My kids’ last day at school in person was Friday, March 13, 2020. Our school went on Spring Break March 16-20. Due to Covid-19, in-person school wasn’t an option for the rest of the 2019-2020 school year. For the 2020-2021 school year my kids did school virtually. Thanks to the timeless work of grief and the continuing stresses of those two years, this essay still resonates for me.Note: At this time Grasshopper was using the Medtronic 670g and Dexcom. Since that time he has used the Medtronic 770g and Medtronic Guardian sensor and currently uses the T-Slim Tandem with Dexcom G6.
Today my grief is an empty crushed cardboard pizza box. I feel used up, discarded, smashed. Left in the bottom of the can. Greasy, worthless. Littered with crumbs and soggy sauce smears. Where can I leave this grief? How about guilt? Into which bin do I toss my selfishness? I want to throw it all away. I want to be rid of these jagged, used up emotions that tire my mind, and pray that something good can be made out of the clutter. By someone else. I don’t want to do the work of it, I just want to be rid of it all. Grief is work. Sigh.
In the midst of global troubles, my family is trying to manage the daily routines of type 1 diabetes. We had an incident which brought into sharp focus how much work T1D life is.
I shared with my blog partner, Alese, what I am about to share with you. She started sending me Chuck Norris memes and called me a type 1 diabetes black belt. I think I am still a white belt, but I’m adding stripes!
Thanks to resources like the books Think Like a Pancreasby Gary Scheiner, and Sugar Surfing by Dr. Stephen Ponder, I’m figuring out the timing for my 7 year old Grasshopper’s insulin. I’ve been trying this stuff for maybe a year and a half now and I think I’m finally starting to get it. Continue reading →
What music moves you? What songs resonate with you?
When you are having a difficult day… or week… or year… with type 1 diabetes, or just with life, what do you listen to that helps you get through?
Leading up to the spring of 2017 I was having a rough time. I felt like a failure, like everything I was doing as a T1D mom and in life was not good enough. It turns out that depression tells a person those kinds of lies. Continue reading →
Now that Grasshopper is playing baseball we have some evenings when we have to grab dinner and head to the field early and stay late. Here’s our Tuesday evening in photos, from dinner in the car on the way to the ball field for pictures, to batting practice, the game, with Dexcom G6 graph screenshots throughout. Thanks to Sugar Surfing and Arden’s Day/Juicebox Podcast, we had a smooth night of blood sugars! We bumped it up with carbs when needed, reduced his pump a bit, and he had a ton of fun out there. The icing on the cupcake is that his team won, 14-3! Continue reading →
Every autumn Bartlett Ranch, a working horse and cattle farm near us, hosts an evening celebrating Alabama farmers. It is always a fun time and sure sign that the endless Alabama summer is finally waning.
We had a great evening at Bartlett Ranch! Arrows were shot, turkey feathers found, and apples were pressed.
Calves, goats, cows, and snakes were admired. Balloons were acquired. Firetrucks were explored. We Sugar Surfed our way through a hotdog (1 gram of carbohydrates), hotdog bun (21g carbs), chips (15g carbs), and Chips Ahoy cookies (15g carbs). Continue reading →
Both Alese and I have been busy and we haven’t written much. There have been lots of changes for both of us and it feels like life is moving at light speed. The speed of life. Life speed, full ahead.
I had a moment to slow down a bit after one of Grasshopper’s routine appointments at Children’s Hospital of Alabama. We loved getting to see Heather Jordan to talk about how to better tackle some of the issues we face like helping Grasshopper through the annual blood draws he has to have. The last one was… intense.
After our appointment we were waiting for traffic to ease so we spent some time in Children’s Harbor. I have heard various reactions when we share that we are headed back to Children’s. Fairly often others react with sadness or say some form of, “Oh, that is such a sad place.” Granted, my view of it is due to Grasshopper’s successful diagnosis and treatment there. There certainly are many possible outcomes. For our family Children’s has been and continues to be a place of hope.
I thought I would take some photos to share why Grasshopper is always so excited to go to Children’s Hospital. Continue reading →
This particular purple pouch is a very special pack of Annie’s Bunny Fruit Snacks. In our family we just call them gummies. After a day of low blood sugars at school, I picked up Grasshopper. Nurse L and I had been in contact throughout the day and she had just checked his blood sugar at 58. He had a few of these Annie’s Bunny Fruit Snacks while still in her office and a few minutes later she walked him out to car line.
Grasshopper asked me again if he could ride the bus when he starts first grade. He was prepared with reasons and explanations how it would benefit ME.
Cue all the smiles, and all the heartache. I’m surprised he didn’t have charts and graphs ready. He proposed I walk him to the bus in the morning, and then I could get things done around the house while Sunshine played. She solemnly nodded. And then in the afternoon I could start making dinner while he rode back on the bus. Or while Daddy made dinner. And Sunshine could play. More nodding from her. Grasshopper is working this angle HARD. Le sigh.