Is Grief Recyclable?

by Erin Turnham

Context: I began writing this on Monday, March 30, 2020. My kids’ last day at school in person was Friday, March 13, 2020. Our school went on Spring Break March 16-20. Due to Covid-19, in-person school wasn’t an option for the rest of the 2019-2020 school year. For the 2020-2021 school year my kids did school virtually. Thanks to the timeless work of grief and the continuing stresses of those two years, this essay still resonates for me. Note: At this time Grasshopper was using the Medtronic 670g and Dexcom. Since that time he has used the Medtronic 770g and Medtronic Guardian sensor and currently uses the T-Slim Tandem with Dexcom G6.

Today my grief is an empty crushed cardboard pizza box. I feel used up, discarded, smashed. Left in the bottom of the can. Greasy, worthless. Littered with crumbs and soggy sauce smears. Where can I leave this grief? How about guilt? Into which bin do I toss my selfishness? I want to throw it all away. I want to be rid of these jagged, used up emotions that tire my mind, and pray that something good can be made out of the clutter. By someone else. I don’t want to do the work of it, I just want to be rid of it all. Grief is work. Sigh.

In the midst of global troubles, my family is trying to manage the daily routines of type 1 diabetes. We had an incident which brought into sharp focus how much work T1D life is.

Continue reading…

Summer Camp Part 5 : Wednesday

By Erin Schovel Turnham

Wednesday, June 12, 2109

Working Breakfast

Mr. Mister had to work on our last day at the beach but thankfully he is able to work remotely. We had another day near the beach if not physically on it. I walked to get breakfast from Gypsea Crepes again and this time I remembered to take a photo before gobbling it up. Continue reading →

Summer Camp Part 4 : Tuesday

By Erin Schovel Turnham

Tuesday, June 11, 2019

Beach Bums

Mr. Mister and I woke up late. I wanted to try breakfast at a place new to us and he obliged. We made our way to Gypsea Crepes just before they stopped serving breakfast. I loved everything about it!! Continue reading →

Summer Camp 2019 Part 3 : Monday

By Erin Schovel Turnham

Monday, June 10, 2019

Relief

Then an avalanche of guilt because I feel relieved. Alarm free sleep. Anxiety free sleep. Uninterrupted sleep. Just sleep. Continue reading →

Sugar Rush Survivors Playlist

What music moves you? What songs resonate with you?

When you are having a difficult day… or week… or year… with type 1 diabetes, or just with life, what do you listen to that helps you get through?

Leading up to the spring of 2017 I was having a rough time. I felt like a failure, like everything I was doing as a T1D mom and in life was not good enough. It turns out that depression tells a person those kinds of lies. Continue reading →

A Tale of Tuesday

by Erin

Now that Grasshopper is playing baseball we have some evenings when we have to grab dinner and head to the field early and stay late. Here’s our Tuesday evening in photos, from dinner in the car on the way to the ball field for pictures, to batting practice, the game, with Dexcom G6 graph screenshots throughout. Thanks to Sugar Surfing and Arden’s Day/Juicebox Podcast, we had a smooth night of blood sugars! We bumped it up with carbs when needed, reduced his pump a bit, and he had a ton of fun out there. The icing on the cupcake is that his team won, 14-3! Continue reading →

Sunshine and Shadows

I like to share the positives. The triumphs. The laughs. I like the sunshine and light.

Those things are easy to tell. Easy to share and pass along.

This day earlier in January was a triumph of fun even though we had to treat several lows.

It is important, however, to also share our struggles. That is when I hear from others, “I am so glad to know I am not alone.” Continue reading →

T1D Car Wash

Friday is car wash day. I vacuumed up at least 20 test strips and ALL the raisins. Dealing with a chronic condition like T1D means the highs and lows happen anywhere, anytime. It doesn’t stop for car washes. Thanks to the noise of the water and then the vacuum I couldn’t hear the Dexcom low alert and for some reason it didn’t show up on my watch. Grasshopper said he felt low. Yep. 55 on the meter, 50 on Dexcom. Continue reading →

Good Grief, It Is Thanksgiving

I’ve taken some time off from writing and posting so I can focus on my family. I’m trying not to feel guilty about the fact that my time off has coincided with November, Diabetes Awareness Month, and the feeling that I need to be posting MORE right now. But wow, I am DRAINED. The Pike Road Lions Club Strides Walk was a great event and I am excited to help again next year. I have a post coming with pictures of the event and a big thank you to all who made it a success. Continue reading →