Context: I began writing this on Monday, March 30, 2020. My kids’ last day at school in person was Friday, March 13, 2020. Our school went on Spring Break March 16-20. Due to Covid-19, in-person school wasn’t an option for the rest of the 2019-2020 school year. For the 2020-2021 school year my kids did school virtually. Thanks to the timeless work of grief and the continuing stresses of those two years, this essay still resonates for me.Note: At this time Grasshopper was using the Medtronic 670g and Dexcom. Since that time he has used the Medtronic 770g and Medtronic Guardian sensor and currently uses the T-Slim Tandem with Dexcom G6.
Today my grief is an empty crushed cardboard pizza box. I feel used up, discarded, smashed. Left in the bottom of the can. Greasy, worthless. Littered with crumbs and soggy sauce smears. Where can I leave this grief? How about guilt? Into which bin do I toss my selfishness? I want to throw it all away. I want to be rid of these jagged, used up emotions that tire my mind, and pray that something good can be made out of the clutter. By someone else. I don’t want to do the work of it, I just want to be rid of it all. Grief is work. Sigh.
In the midst of global troubles, my family is trying to manage the daily routines of type 1 diabetes. We had an incident which brought into sharp focus how much work T1D life is.
Mr. Mister and I woke up late. I wanted to try breakfast at a place new to us and he obliged. We made our way to Gypsea Crepes just before they stopped serving breakfast. I loved everything about it!! Continue reading →
What music moves you? What songs resonate with you?
When you are having a difficult day… or week… or year… with type 1 diabetes, or just with life, what do you listen to that helps you get through?
Leading up to the spring of 2017 I was having a rough time. I felt like a failure, like everything I was doing as a T1D mom and in life was not good enough. It turns out that depression tells a person those kinds of lies. Continue reading →
I’ve taken some time off from writing and posting so I can focus on my family. I’m trying not to feel guilty about the fact that my time off has coincided with November, Diabetes Awareness Month, and the feeling that I need to be posting MORE right now. But wow, I am DRAINED. The Pike Road Lions Club Strides Walk was a great event and I am excited to help again next year. I have a post coming with pictures of the event and a big thank you to all who made it a success. Continue reading →
“Don’t let them drink your tears and want more! Will! Don’t let them take your crying, turn it upside down and use it for their own smile! I’ll be dammed if death wears my sadness for glad rags. Don’t feed them one damn thing, Willy, loosen your bones! Breathe!” Something Wicked This Way Comes, p. 310
Halloween has always been one of my favorite traditions. I’m not even into the really spooky stuff. I like the fun and pageantry of it all. Continue reading →